A few days ago, Pastor Enoch A. Adeboye, Worldwide General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God decided to wish his wife Foluke Adebayo a happy birthday on Instagram. However, his description of what his wife does for him riled so many people.
In the caption under the Instagram post, Pastor Adeboye said the following
Some claimed that his wife lived as a slave in her own marriage. They argue that it is slavery for a woman to live at the beck and call of her husband. Many cringed at the thought that his wife would have to abandon anything she was doing just to please her. That she even trimmed his names and did other chores made them mad.
Proponents of Pastor Adeboye argued that the cleric and his wife should be left alone. They would argue that the couple was living in accordance with their religious beliefs. They are Christians who live in accordance with the will of God as expressed in the bible. The bible says:
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV
The Issue Of Slavery
Slavery is a strong word. If indeed Mrs. Adeboye is a slave in the house, she needs to be removed from that marriage and placed in a mental institute. There she will need to be rehabilitated. As for the husband, he should be placed under investigation for forced labour, abuse of human rights and probably manipulation. But then, it is a big if!
Slavery implies the absence of choice. It implies that the victim was forced to do something they do not want to. It usually implies the use of violence or threats of violence. In this case, we must ask ourselves, was Mrs. Foluke Adeboye forced to carry out those acts or she does them of her own volition?
Feminists will argue that she was forced either by the marriage or by brainwashing from her religion or from her upbringing. For them, no right-thinking woman will live like that. No woman with healthy self-esteem will live her life at the beck and call of her husband.
Therein lays the problem. Feminists argue the Mrs. Adeboye is a slave in her own marriage because that is what they believe. They do not know for a fact if the woman chooses to do those things she does on her own volition. This leads to the second issue.
The Issue of Conformity
It is apparent that feminists have a fixed perspective on life. They have a set of minimums that they believe everyone should adhere to. They are willing to fight and bicker with anyone who doesn’t adhere to their code.
For starters, they are insistent that the man and woman are equal partners in a marriage. The man is not the master over the house. He is simply a co-owner. The woman can veto any decision he makes.
While this might be true in the feminist worldview, it is incompatible with fundamental Christianity. The bible clearly states that the man is the head of the house. It states that the man is the ruler. The man and woman do not share authority. The authority belongs to the man.
As Christians do not force feminists to live by Christian standards, feminists should not force Christians to live by their own standards. Religion is a personal issue. Everyone should be allowed to live according to their beliefs. The only exception here is when such beliefs threaten the lives of people who don’t share those beliefs.
In this case, feminists have no right whatsoever to tell people how to conduct themselves within their marriages. They can offer suggestions and advice as well-meaning people. But the decision is ultimately up to the people involved in the marriage. If this point is not accepted, another issue will arise.
The Issue of Liberty
Ordinarily, this issue of slavery in marriage would seem like just another argument on social media between religious fundamentalists and feminists. But it isn’t. History tells us that wide-reaching law that curtails citizens’ liberty starts like this: arguments on how people should live their personal lives.
As each feminist argument occurs, uninformed individuals will get the idea that people are being subjected to discrimination and slavery. Soon, there would be a subtle clamour for legislative change.
It would be farfetched to think some feminists won’t call for legislature on what a woman should and should not do. These laws would not be direct at first. They could start with as simple as demanding joint signatories when families make decisions on healthcare and education.
These would look innocent on the surface. But deep within, they insinuate that people can’t decide what is best for them. They imply that only an informed feminist can tell you what you should do or not do in your own marriage. It is an encroachment of personal liberty.
The Issue Of hypocrisy
When men talk about her loyal and submissive their wives and girlfriends are, feminists lose their marbles. They bicker and fight and curse and scorn. They do not want to hear any bit of it. They hate the idea of being submissive to a man. In essence, they are against clear biblical injunctions for a woman to be submissive to her husband.
Flip the roles for a while. Imagine a woman who talks about how a man makes adjustments in his life just to make sure she succeeds.
Let’s assume this woman is a career pilot. She flies planes on intercontinental trips. At the same time, she wants to care for her parents, her siblings and her children. She could hire a maid but her husband offers himself up. He takes on a remote job that allows him to meet the demands of the family while working.
He prepares the children for school every morning. He drives to the airport to pick up his wife when she returns from her trip. He makes the meals and serves her. And every night, he treats her to an in-house spa session. He massages her body, trims her nails and set fire to her body with earth-quaking orgasms.
In that instance, feminists have no problem. They would applaud the man as a real man. They could even confer on him the title of feminist. Herein lies the hypocrisy of feminists.
Obviously, feminists do not care for equality. They want to be in charge. They want to call the shots. They want the man to submit to them.
In Conclusion, Live And Let Live
Unfortunately, there can be one caption for a ship, one head to a body. If feminists want a relationship where women call the shots, fine. But they should not vilify men and women who agree to a man leading the home.
What consensual adults do in their matrimonial homes isn’t anyone’s business as long as no one is made to do anything unwillingly.
Personal liberty must be protected at all costs.